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I am the treasure, I am the gold

I am it, I am the treasure, I am the gold
For years I've wondered aimlessly seeking
Running from fears, many screams in my ears
Voices, noises, loud sirens in the sound of my feelings
Letting me know the truth I was taught to ignore
I am it, I am the treasure, I am the gold

Mountains cold summits, down I walk
With no price, nothing, I lost my pride
Up I went running from fears yet to many screams I still returned
No peace, no rest, ever seeking and running and screeching
Its the truth I am taught to abhor
I am it, I am the treasure, I am the gold

When the body has grown weary of the journey
The journey of the seeker's belly, a thirst, a trist
A disappointment, an unfulfillment, a sigh of resignation
When all you've known has proven futile
When life invites you to another truth you dare not speak about
Okay, perhaps speak about it just not out loud
Okay, perhaps out loud just not to certain people
Okay, perhaps to everyone just so that they…

Love Remains

Dearly beloved... We've journeyed together for ages We've gone through many phases together We loved, laughed, sang, danced We played, prayed and when the time came to go we often stayed A hope, a dream we had yet we could not attain Change came, yet we fought for things to stay the same Fear of the unknown held us mercilessly in chains The very thing we did not know, through time we  all come and go But Love abounds and Love remains
Dearly beloved... I love  you so much that even though things did not go as we wished I am forever grateful for the things that did Yes, I sighed when I thought the end came too swift But now I am grateful for you were  to me a gift A teacher who's lessons I could never have missed A healer who's hands I could not have dismissed If not for you my ignorance would forever persist If not for you health would not have found my disease Now I know that Love abounds and Love remains
I'm truly grateful to know such love exists

Phemelo Motona




From Us To You

We have been bruised, battered and discarded by those who were to love and care for us They threw us out on the street and left us for dead  They sold us like Judas sold the Christ for a shekel. We died we died in bitterness and depth of sorrow, of illnesses no one could diagnose.
Heavy was the load in our hearts as we cried, mourned and wailed. But no one cared, no one dared to take a stand for truth and justice. For man was out for selfish gain and profit, deceit and vain pride was the price Our children were orphaned, despised and tossed asunder We mourned and sighed and gave our last breath
For life we signed, gave in and died. We sighed and surrendered to unconditional Love and Acceptance of all that is. And what it is...A catalyst, a necessary phase in the evolution of our spirits. For that we thank you,  We have learnt to understand that we are not yours and neither are you ours. But borrowed we were to each other only for a time and half we were. The phase has passed, lessons…
They know they are not like us, they don't want to be like us.  They see us foolish and silly, how they despise us.  They see us for what we are and not who we are. What we are, to them is a means to an end. An end which they never attain yet, and yes, they continue to no end. And they will suck the life force out of us if will let them.  If we will let them they will suck us dry.
They will suck and not stop until they have removed our very soul out of us. Our very lives, our very soul is what they seek. They walk around but we know they prowl, their smiles are wiles. They woe and charm and disarm us with their charismatic smiles. They work hard to convince us that they are one of our own, Whilst knowing very well that they are not human. They may look and eat and sleep and walk and talk like us, But they are not our own.
Our own have hearts within our heart of hearts. Our own have a heart to feel and heal the motion of life. Our own are touched, moved by the motion of life. They know they are not…

Imagination

I've gone far and beyond with  my imagination I've traveled through time and space I recall excess moments of joy and liberation Even if you tried you wouldn't trace
I've walked and seen great sorrow and indignation And yet I've been blessed with grace A wondrous journey of love peace and  positive imagination Oh what an awe inspiring embrace
I've not only walked, I've danced on water without deviation I've twirled and swirled and it felt safe And the wind has carried me away in intimation And secured me in many ways
I've seen the sun and the moon as part of my destination And there I saw His face He was happy to see me in my navigation Don't be a stranger, He says

Phemelo Motona



The Codependency Monologue

What is this that I feel in the depths of my chest charging all the way up to my throat? It has a familiar feeling to it, like de ja vu 
I remember you, I've seen, smelt and felt you before,... long time ago There was just something about you that sparked grief in my soul So I did all I knew to do at the time, I hit the road...
I ran away and ever since I've been on the run And today here we are again
Eye to eye in the lonely dark corner of my dilapidated house With no glass on the windows,everything worn and torn down This old abandoned house of mine with no inhabitants
Grass overgrown and garden turned forest in my yard of hearts And yet... here you are again
This must be the inevitable fear I must embrace I have ran in every way imaginable and yet you've kept the pace I have tried with all my might to outrun you and yet I remain dismayed
You just keep finding me. So,... here you are again Now that I have no where else to go, it's just you and me
Today I befriend you the very darknes…

Dear Self

Dear Self,

This letter has been long over due
I would like to start by saying I am sorry...

For ignoring you for as long as I've had you,
For not taking the time to really know and understand you,
For not taking the time to listen and empathize with you
For never taking the time to consider how you feel about the way I have been treating you
For not making you a priority

For judging, condemning, punishing and dismissing you,
For rebuking you every time you voiced your opinion and teaching you that you don't matter
For bullying you into compliance even when you cried and screamed no!
For pushing you into action even when you didn't have the strength to keep going

For not tending to you when you were sick and not nurturing you when you needed me
For not protecting you, instead violating, wounding and bruising you at the core
For leaving you in the care of others when I should have been the one taking care of you
For leaving you to fend for yourself when no one would take you into their spa…