The Codependency Monologue


   What is this that I feel in the depths of my chest charging all the way up to my throat?
It has a familiar feeling to it, like de ja vu 

I remember you, I've seen, smelt and felt you before,... long time ago
There was just something about you that sparked grief in my soul
So I did all I knew to do at the time, I hit the road...

I ran away and ever since I've been on the run
And today here we are again

Eye to eye in the lonely dark corner of my dilapidated house
With no glass on the windows,everything worn and torn down
This old abandoned house of mine with no inhabitants

Grass overgrown and garden turned forest in my yard of hearts
And yet... here you are again

This must be the inevitable fear I must embrace
I have ran in every way imaginable and yet you've kept the pace
I have tried with all my might to outrun you and yet I remain dismayed

You just keep finding me. So,... here you are again
Now that I have no where else to go, it's just you and me

Today I befriend you the very darkness that lurks in the creepy forests
Today you and I finally get acquainted
Today I sit at your feet and hear you speak

Teach me about yourself, how did you become so dark and gloomy? 
Wait!... Now I remember,... I've been running into you on the road,

 You've been following me haven't you?
Why are you following me? What do you want from me?
You are the shadowy figure that has been ever behind my tail

The very picture of death and gloom that I have forever dreaded
The very pain I've mastered the art of numbing

But now, somehow I still find myself standing here in front of you...again
I've ran myself into exhaustion, there is no strength left to run
I embrace you today and become one with you

I hear you speak but I cant hear the words, wait! I feel the words
You are me, you are wounded, you want MY unconditional love and attention? Is that all?

Well why did I run from you then?
Why did I hide?
Oh yes, that's right, because you were a stranger to me


Phemelo Motona






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